Dealing with Rejection: Who are You?
Yesterday was a fine day, a really great day, at least, the start of it. As is my usual routine, I started the morning writing, then making phone calls. Next, I checked email. There were many– several from readers of my books. Some took the time to express thanks and wanted to know what other books I had written. They spoke of life-changing insights; they thanked me for providing them the opportunity to read my works. They wanted more. I felt good, really good.
It got better. By lunchtime, there were a number of orders for my “PowerPause” system. The ordering system worked perfectly; I was hearing from excited affiliates who were excited. The positive feedback on my products was encouraging and rewarding. I leaned back in my chair and smiled. Yes, things were working; life was good.
And then it happened. I checked my email once more before quitting for the day. There, buried among all the wonderful notes was a short email from someone who had purchased a “PowerPause” kit the week before. It said something to the effect that he wanted a refund and wanted it right away. “Your ‘PowerPause’ is not for me,” he continued. “It did nothing for me. I know all the things you talked about. I’ve read them before and am way beyond such simple stuff. Just give me back my money.”
I stared in disbelief at the email on the monitor. I printed it out and read it again. A sad feeling came over me. All kinds of thoughts flowed through my mind. For a moment, I thought, how could he NOT like my product? After all, thousands of people have benefited from it. Why couldn’t he understand? Did he need to be so insulting? Look what he did; just look what he did to me.
Had this been a few years ago, the next few hours would have been quite unpleasant. I would have just focused on this one, unfortunate event. I would have ruined my entire evening by allowing thoughts of rejection to possess me. Rejection, at any level, is unpleasant.
But I have learned over the years that events of this nature were not a rejection of who I am and what I do. That customer really didn’t do anything to me. He just did what he did because it was his nature to do so. He had every right to do what he did. Didn’t I offer an unconditional guarantee? Didn’t I specifically state, on my website, that if someone didn’t find the “PowerPause” useful, I’d refund the money, no questions asked? Why should I be upset if one person took advantage of my offer?
In business, as in other areas of our lives, we oftentimes face rejection. It becomes much easier to deal with if we remember that we are not rejected because of who we are but because of who the other person is. If we understand this, and if we do not personalize it, life would be much calmer, more peaceful and certainly more productive.
Author, Richard Bach had already written a number of books when he sent his new manuscript to a major publisher. It was promptly rejected with a note attached as to its quality. But he kept on keeping on, and seventeen or eighteen rejections later, his manuscript was finally accepted by Macmillan. It was Richard’s positive way of looking at life that made him keep on. I am sure that rejection bothered him a bit. But the publication of “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” resulted in Richard Bach gracing the cover of Time magazine. And from what I’ve heard, his meaningful books have touched the hearts of millions of readers.
Yes, rejection is tough. It doesn’t matter whether the rejection comes from a customer, a business associate, a friend, husband, wife, lover, customer or a total stranger, it still hurts. If we possess any sensitivity at all. it’s natural for us to feel bad. The trick is not to mind too much, not to focus all our energy and time on saying, “Look what they did, just look what they did to me.”
Just remember, there’s no one else on earth with your talents and your abilities. No one else can do what you do. You are unique, a special person– someone whose hopes and dreams span eternity itself. Don’t let rejection bring you down. Just interpret it slightly differently from the way you’re accustomed to and you’ll find that your journey through life becomes much more pleasant.
About the Author
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Jonathan Livingston Seagull – Be
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